After I became a christian in 2012 April.8th, so many things changed in my life. Struggled with a lot of problems.
For example, my ex-boyfriend could not understand me. He hates christian. He thinks christian are crazy and dangerous people. At that time, i just got baptism. I suddenly felt confused why he said that. What is the truth. And he asked me so many questions about the history that christian had wars and killed people. I could not answer all of them. I know things happened, there are reasons. Some reasons we maybe know, but some reasons maybe we dont know. I was not there so i could not judge anything of it. But I knew God is my God. And nothing will change that. People in this world always make mistakes, none of us is the exception. But God never. It is hard for me to explain it to him. Because when we think we can do everything by ourselves and we can change the world if we want, we are believe ourselves. Then why we could not control accident, why we could not control environment getting worse, why we could not control the death, I think sometimes we can not even control our minds.
When i was a child, I knew there was someone controlling me. At that time, I don't know what that is. I feel afraid but I want to know. For example, when i was in elementary school, we had some simple homework everyday. But sometimes our teacher wouldn't check them. But every time when I didn't finish my homework, that day our teacher would check our homework. Or if I lated to school my teacher would aways in the classroom early that day. At that time, I thought I really had a bad luck about everything. So I changed, I had to finish all the homework on time everyday and go to school early. What is the funny thing is, my elementary school was start at 7:40am everyday, and I told my mom we started at 7:25am. My mom didn't know the real time for really a long time. And one day, my mom got up late. She said sorry to me because I might be late for school. And I told her it was ok, cause we started at 7:40am, we still had time.
Maybe all of these things are so tiny for our lives. But it is the truth, even though it is a little tiny things in our life. God knows it. And he is leading us. Maybe at the moment we don't understand why, maybe we think that we have bad luck all the time. But after that we grow up and learn to be better. Then I don't think that is a bad luck any more. I learnt something and I became a better person. Then i think all the painful and suffering are worthy.
There is a long way that lead me to become a christian. It is not a emotional things for me. And that is so true that God changed my life and helped me.
